A Short Tale of Summer: Fun in the Sun + Fashion

With summer just around the corner, I feel the need to express myself: I love summer here in the U.S. (where there is air conditioning...not so much in South Korea, where I had a stand alone fan, sweated like a frog peeing through its skin and a broken radial head on my right arm, but I digress...).  

There is so much to love about summer here.  Let's take activities, for instance.  My personal favorite activity in the summer is sitting outside at a bar/beer garden like Cicero's or McGurk's in Soulard and enjoying a nice lager or hefeweizen with a good friend whilst having good conversation. 

Then there's going to the pool, which, hopefully you have a friend who has one that you can mooch off of in order to do this (if you are that friend, suck it up and enjoy the socialization that comes along with your awesome pool, and deal with the fact that other people hate you because you have one.  You are "cool" and get "friends" by default.  All you have to do is provide the PBR, so deal. Yup, I said it).  I myself spent many years sneaking into the Wildhorse subdivision pool here in Chesterfield and not signing in, or signing in as my then-friend Lisa Becker who used to live there.  I'm fairly certain they didn't do background checks.  Either way, I was able to get my tan on (or get my skin-cancer and early wrinkle development on, guess the joke was really on me).

There are many other activities to enjoy, such as BBQs, picnics, hanging out in the park, outdoor concerts, the list goes on.

But that's not why I'm writing this, or why I love summer in the U.S.

I love summer in the U.S. because of the FASHION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you really that surprised?  It IS me.

Summer means bright colors, beachy accessories such as sunglasses and nautical jewelry, swimsuits, shorts, dresses, mini-skirts, open-toed shoes, rompers, and my ABSOLUTE favorite, lots and lots and lots of DENIM! :D  Wow I'm capitalizing a lot of things in this post.  I just get really excited when it comes to fashion--and apparently, acronyms like BBQ, PBR and U.S. 

As I'm better at showing than telling when it comes to clothing, I'm going to show you some awesome items I'm diggin' on here for summer...tell me what you think, and I hope you enjoy them as much as I do! :D

Happy ALMOST summer! <3 

Anna

BDJ Neon Grazer Mid-Rise Jean in Pink available from Urban Outfitters

Denim Schoolbag in Light Vintage Denim/Natural also from Urban Outfitters

Stay on trend with this ASOS Cute Peplum Mini Skirt in black at ASOS.com

(in fact, I love this whole outfit...it just WORKS!)

Starfish Necklace by Lucky Brand--also has a cute bracelet that matches!

Linen Pinstripe Women's Wedges by TOMS

Mara Hoffman's King Tut Tank Maillot at Bonadrag.com

J.Crew Collection Silk Crepe Top Printed Popover

Freepeople.com Key Biscayne Blouse (FP Exclusive)

That's it for now, ladies and gents!! Just thought I'd share...:)

  

The Twenty-Fourth Tale: Almost the Quarter of a Century...Makes a Girl Think...

Oh my! 


I have this lovely blank screen in front of me, waiting for me to make it come to life with my scribbles and thoughts. Isn't that nice? 


It's been a long time, and a lot has happened in the space between the last post and now. This blank screen and my attitude toward it are a metaphor for my future, though I will admit I have some preliminary sketches laid out...;). 


So. I came back to the U.S. over Christmastime and made a very difficult decision not to return to Spain; to plant my feet on what felt like solid ground for a while. I needed something to do in the meantime here, something that would make me feel valuable, and with my mom's support I was able to explore something I always thought would be fun: starting a personal shopping business. To make a really long story short, I threw myself into this pursuit for a few months and had some fun. I helped out three really wonderful ladies and made some fashion connections here in St. Louis. 


In general, I have had a really pleasant time in St. Louis. I have been able to reconnect and feel at peace for a while, to listen to myself without the constant stress of external unfamiliar or un-stimulating stimuli. I have met some great new friends and strengthened some acquaintance connections into real friendships. I have been able to focus on my health and dedicate myself to an exercise regimen. I have everything to be thankful for, and I guess sometimes it just takes slowing down a little for me to realize that. 


It is in these moments of peace that I am, again, inexplicably drawn to the excitement of traveling. Some people create drama in their personal lives for excitement or listen to celebrity drama stories; I travel. You are probably saying, "Seriously, Anna? After all THAT, you're going to travel again?!" Trust me, I've heard it more than once from outsiders peering into my (at times, crazy) life. Although, I have to say that good friends didn't seem at all surprised when I told them that I have decided to go back to Korea for a second round. It seems that those people know me better than I thought. In fact, they seemed much more surprised when I said I was starting a business here in St. Louis! Go figure ;). So yes, I am returning to Seoul, South Korea in order to teach English as a Second Language (ESL) at an elementary/middle school, and am truly looking forward to it!!!!!!! 


The European experience I had was amazing but a bit overwhelming...I think that while I love to travel, I have learned that too many changes in such a short amount of time is really too stressful for me to deal with. The great thing about Korea is that this time I'll know a little bit more what to expect as far as the culture and language are concerned, and I'll also have the continuity of being in the same place for a year (which is just long enough, I think). I also have a great support network of friends still over there, so I won't feel as lonely as I have felt traveling the last couple of times. So see, there is still some stability within my instability. ;) 


Anyway, part of the reason I made this decision was a life changing event that occurred here which threw things off kilter a bit. I got rejected from UMASS-Amherst's Social Justice Education (SJE) program, the one program I applied to for graduate school and the only one I was interested in pursuing. Although at that time I was waffling a little bit about whether or not I would go anyway because I had just started the personal shopping business, I still wanted to have that option. When that option was taken away, I was surprised at just how disappointed I really was. So, I tried to pursue the shopping business, and convinced myself that SJE just wasn't for me. 


About a month later, I began feeling lost and slightly useless, and my passion for the shopping business started to dwindle.  That's when I realized I wanted to go back to Korea.  Talking to my mom about it made me remember how much I missed certain things about it, and the thought of being gainfully employed and making money and being independent all came into play.  


Still, that's not all.  About a week after I made that decision, I began wistfully looking at SIT's graduate program in Intercultural Service, Leadership, and Management. Then all of a sudden, it hit me, out of the blue. I had an idea for what I think will be an amazing program that I can begin to implement in Korea, and it combines a little bit of everything that I love (okay, except fashion...but I'm sure there's a way to integrate that, too). It combines cultural diversity awareness with customer service, travel, writing, socializing, organizing, selling, marketing, promoting...everything! 


The program is still new and in the works, so I'm not going to give details yet. Plus, I don't want anyone to steal my idea ;). But, once it's up and running, I'll let everyone know what's up. As of now, I'm waiting for my Criminal Record Check to come back from the FBI and for my passport to come back from the renewal center, and once I have them back it will probably take another couple of weeks for me to get everything processed. That being said, I'll probably be ready to go by late June at the earliest and late July at the latest. 


I'll keep everyone posted, and I'll definitely be blogging pre and post Korea trip pt. 2. 


 Much love and hope everyone is well! 


 <3, Me

The Thirteenth Tale: Get Ready, Get Set...

Hey all...

It's pretty interesting...I was talking to my friend the other day about my emotional connection to St. Louis, seeing it as home, yet that I'm glad I've been able to build character through my travels away from it. He noticed and pointed out to me about about the fact that I seem to mention these two things a lot. At first when I heard this, I felt kind of bad and self conscious, like...oh gosh, am I just totally redundant? Who wants to listen to my whining anyway? He assured me he didn't mean it in this way and I'm sure he didn't, but it was enough to make me think (oh no, everybody watch out...me thinking?! Could be dangerous ;).

After rolling it over a few times in my mind, I decided this: to just give myself a break. After all, I think that it's pretty hard for most people to realize or relate to what I've been going through this summer. First, I leave Korea after having been there an entire year to come back to a place that I have never known in my entire life, with only 1/2 my family there 1/2 the time (dad is still going back and forth to St. Louis for work). This is also a place where I have, let me tell you, zero friends my age, and the ones my age I have made haven't exactly been fabulous. Nobody's fault; if I had more time, I'd be trying harder, but I'm not really. It is in this place that I am to prepare myself for another massive adventure abroad, which includes me visiting and living in three different countries in the span of about three months, plus then being another 9 months abroad in (I'm not exactly sure which) country.

Look, I don't mean to complain. I don't mean to say that I am not happy about being here or that I didn't ask for this upcoming adventure (because I am and I did), but I do think that these few months have seriously been a time of trial for me mentally, physically, and emotionally. I've learned to internalize my emotions, almost too well, and sometimes I don't even realize when things have seriously affected me. I think it's safe to say that this is where some of the 'redundancy' in expressing these recurring themes comes from...and you know what? It's okay. I'm allowing myself to feel whatever I want to about this stuff, because it's how I'm coping with it all. Addressing these things through talking or blogging (even over and over), is just how I personally deal. Feel free not to read if it bores you. :)

Other than mulling over that, I have been really trying to mentally/physically prepare myself for the travels. I know there is a part of me that is drawn to this traveling thing (thanks to Kate for expressing it to me that way:) but I do get jitters before I go. Mainly they're about things like taking public transport/getting lost (still seem to have a random, inexplicable fear of this), making sure I have all of my travel docs, making sure my luggage isn't overweight, making sure I have contact info for people I'm meeting there, plus maps, language books, professional docs, etc. Might I add, thank you RyanAir for allowing only ONE piece of luggage up to 20 kg for an extra $40...total rip. That's about 46.5 pounds, people, not to mention that I'm leaving to travel for a YEAR, and the cost of international shipping is murderous. So, even though I am trying to look at the positives of getting there and doing the things that I truly love, the actual logistics of traveling to me are really stressful. This morning, I couldn't remember where I put my passports (yes, 2-France and US), and I spent half an hour tearing my room apart like a madwoman, only to finally discover them in the suitcase I left outside in the garage (smooth move, ex-lax)...at that point I was near hyperventalation and surrounded by a white squall of random papers, which I spent the rest of the day trying to rearrange (rather unsuccessfully).

I also get a little nervous about meeting new people (I know, gasp). I really love it, but there is that little ego voice that sometimes says "you'll be the oldest one there", or "what if I don't like the people, or the people and I don't get along?" Now you and I know that both of these things are ridiculous, but I hear the voices nonetheless. For one, even if I were the oldest one, who really cares? I know that just a few years ago when I was in my early 20s, I wouldn't have counted someone out as a friend who was a few years older than me. So, this notion is really stupid. Then, the not liking the people thing...umm, there are over 180 tutors going to the camp in Italy...if I don't find at least one person I like amongst them, there is seriously something wrong with me. And if none of the 180 people like me, then there is seriously something wrong with me. Or them. Eh, probably me, but it's not gonna happen!

Anyway...so I feel since this post has mostly been more on the negative side, I should cheer it up a bit, and cheer myself up a bit, by looking at the positives of what's going on. I'll soon be enjoying gorgeous landscapes and fun new places and languages, eating gelato and awesome pizza, having small parties on the beach late at night in San Remo, talking about the world with new people and gaining new perspective, having picnics in the piazza (my FAVE!). I get to eat Jamon Iberico, drink Sangria, and dance on the street at night in Madrid, not to mention see my good friend Paul. I get to hang out in England, see Windsor Castle and meet up with my dear friend Caroline. I also get to return to Paris for a few days and see my cousin Diane, which is never disappointing. I get to celebrate my Grandma's 100th birthday in France with my French family. Life is good!! So, need to stop my worrying. Everything has always worked out well on my trips, and the things that I've worried about have never been as horrible as they seem even if they do happen...so, worrying is a fruitless activity.

Well..thanks for enjoying me on my journey of a post. I wasn't sure what I was going to write about when I sat down, but things have all come out, in my opinion, for the best. :)

Love you all,
XOXO,
Anna <3 :)

The Eleventh Tale: The Pros and Cons of Wandrin'

As many of you know, I am currently in St. Louis, Missouri, my hometown, visiting some of my oldest and dearest friends. Given the situation I'm currently in, one can only imagine the feelings of temptation that arise in regards to "settling". Just like any woman, my
ovaries are probably starting to tick a little, and sometimes the thoughts associated with this phenomenon are more along the lines of comfort over adventure.

However, I DO still have that travel/adventure bug in me, and it just doesn't seem to want to go away, ovary-ticking and all. Given this conflict of, um, head and heart, I decided to compile a pros/cons list for traveling, and one for "settling". :D. I intend to be brutally honest, so watch out.

Traveling: Cons
-------------------
- the act of traveling itself (sitting on an airplane for hours, etc.)
-trying to figure out directions to places
-getting lost in foreign countries
-not being able to talk to people b/c of language barriers
-living out of a suitcase
-sleeping in crappy beds
-having to budget money all the time
-getting ripped off by locals
-having to start all over again wherever you are
-having to share bathrooms with other people (and decades of crud. I should
mention that this is my absolute least favorite part of traveling)
-meeting attractive foreign men
-missing friends/family

Traveling: Pros
-------------------
-getting to experience amazing landscapes, historical sites, museums, parks, buildings, etc.
-trying new/awesome types of food (this is a huge one for me)
-making new friends from varied cultural backgrounds
-completely experiencing another culture as natives do
-learning new languages
-being an ambassador for your own culture
-overcoming logistical challenges on your own
-gaining confidence from being able to overcome those challenges
-feeling independent and strong
-getting to try new activities
-meeting attractive foreign men

Settling in St. Louis: Cons
---------------
-being bored
-missing out on many of the aforementioned pros
-being surrounded by "things", possibly learning to value those things more than experiences

Settling in St. Louis: Pros
------------------
-having my own bed (you can tell this is #1 for me, call me
the Unsinkable Molly Brown)
-being surrounded by good friends/closer to family
-living in a diverse community
-having the opportunity to date someone steadily without worrying about where I will be in 3 months
-feeling a sense of comfort and security that only a home can provide
-investing my money instead of throwing it away

So, interestingly enough, it seems that I value NOT being bored so much that traveling is where I turn to. This is especially true because when I get bored, I also tend to get depressed and anxious, which in my book is no good. So if I were to settle, I would need to have constant projects at a job that kept me challenged. I have to say that I know something about myself: I value having a sense of security more than any traveler should. However, I have found that when I am able to stay in a place for at least a month and not be essentially
living out of my suitcase, I feel much more secure about living wherever I am and tend to enjoy the experience more.

One thing is for certain: the lifestyle I have chosen isn't for everyone, and it certainly isn't for the feint of heart. I have to say, though, that even with the temptation to stay, my heart still wants to see far away places and experience different cultures. I guess it's good to be aware that the possibility of coming back here still exists, but God willing, St. Louis will still be here should I ever choose to take that route. For now, the jury's still out. :)

Thanks for reading, God bless,
Love you all!
Xoxo, Anna

P.s. I wrote this all on my iPhone so I apologize if there are any spelling/syntactical errors. :)

The Tenth Tale: Back in 'da Lou!

Yesterday, I departed Orlando for my 10 day trip back to my hometown of St. Louis. Waiting in the airport, I had the feeling that the flight would not be a comfortable one; children were abundant and screaming, fresh from their wild adventures at Disney World. In fact, one gorgeous looking curly-topped boy in particular spent the entire 1.5 hour wait running from one side of the waiting area to the other, in front of the window and just past the chair I was sitting in, forcing his very lanky looking mother to run after him with arms outstretched. There was a pole with a keypad on it that seemed to hold the same appeal to him as a rocket ship, and he took great pleasure in voicing his discontent every time his mother managed to pry him off the thing.

So, of course it was no surprise to me that I was seated right next to this boy and the mother on the airplane. The surprise that did come was that as soon as the plane ascended, the boy dropped off to sleep and slept almost the entirety of the 2.5 hour flight. However, behind me was a mother who kept scolding her toddling, 2 year old-ish child harshly. At one point I heard, clearly, "you been at gramma's one week a'ready and you acting like such a baby...a spoiled baby", and I thought, well...the child LOOKS about 2 years old. How is he/she supposed to act? The worst out of all of the child scenarios, however, was the one towards the back of the plane that could be audibly heard by everyone. As soon as the plane started to descend, this particular child started crying and screaming, "I want to be off of this plane!! I don't want to be on here anymore!! Get me off of here mama, get me off of here, please!!!!" This was particularly traumatizing, because as we all know, the act of flying itself can be stressful for a lot of people. That, coupled with this child's lamentations, really was cause for one to start hyperventilating.

Lucky for me, we touched down and I felt a feeling of overwhelming peace and joy...it was so strong, I almost started to cry. The voices of all the children started to mellow when I realized that I was home, and it had been so long since I had been here. This is a place that I have such a strong emotional connection to. I was born here, grew up here, and had so many life experiences here-not to mention that it is home to a few of my best friends and so many connections. It's impossible not to feel bonded to this place.

Soon after I landed I was met by my father at baggage claim, and we headed to downtown Clayton for dinner. We were originally planning to go to Chez Leon, but were informed by a half toothless concierge that "thur [was] a prahvate pahrta" going on. After that lovely intrigue, I remembered that we were very close to one of my favorite sushi restaurants called "Tani". It is owned by the same people who own "Haruno", my favorite sushi restaurant in Springfield. So, we went there and had the most amazing sushi and sashimi...my personal favorite is the "Eye of the Tiger" roll. I could have thousands of those. In any case, it was nice spending time hanging out with my dad. I don't get to do that very often!

This morning I woke up at my friend Kate's house (after a lovely night of catching up with her) in U. City, and went to my former workplace: the St. Louis JCC (Creve Coeur). I was instantly greeted by some of the amazing people I used to work with, and was able to spend some time talking with them. Then I went out to lunch with my former boss, James, and we had a really wonderful time. I was so glad I got to reconnect with these people.

The odd thing is that this place is just like I remember it. Everything about it is the same as it was yesterday...only I am the one who is different. I feel different in it; foreign, strange. It's like traveling back in time, though so much has happened between now and then.

I have concluded that I am a different person than I was when I lived here. Because of that fact, I don't think I would ever choose to live here again. Right now this just seems like a beautiful dream of nostalgia, an island off the coast of life I've envisioned for myself and continue to circumnavigate. I appreciate it, I love it, and I will always visit it when I can. However, I have moved on. the purpose of my life is still a mystery and so I must go forward and explore. Until then, I am just listening to the cacophonous sound of multivariate birds and the quiet wind slithering through the brilliant blooms on the Dogwood trees at the house in Wildwood, and loving the feeling of peace and serenity that only gorgeous nature can afford us (well, I'm also looking forward to the cacophonous sounds of the people at the bars and restaurants in U. City, Clayton, CWE, Tower Grove...etc. Not gonna lie ;).

Anyway, I hope other people out there are feeling as peaceful as I am right now.

Much love, xoxo,
Anna <3