I suppose I have an excuse or two for this. First, I have constantly been on Facebook, where I have expressed myself in snippets. Still and all, I am too afraid to express myself freely on Facebook, for fear of the repercussions from other people. This is not because I fear other people's opinions or standing up for my views; mainly, I am just lazy, and I don't like to debate much because after a while I find it to be boring. I don't mind standing up for my opinions if it is necessary, but Facebook discourse can never just be a simple act of agreeing and disagreeing, then agreeing to disagree. Facebook arguers, "trolls" if you will, never seem to know when to give up, and I really hate these huge long threads of argument; I find them extremely annoying. They are also usually circular, or two people who can never find common ground on which to agree. Additionally, it is a grand pet peeve of mine when I post something even remotely political or "controversial" and people whom I haven't spoken to for months subsequently decide to weigh in negatively on the topic. There's no quicker way to be off of my friends list, unless you are someone who is constantly posting your "social issue" posts. That warrants almost immediate execution, along with those who post too many annoying pictures of their children. We all know people like these. Look all, I care, I just can't devote every penny I have to saving the zebras from Bengali pirates, as much as I'd love to. And actually, no, I don't care about seeing your child do his "first poo in the potty". Yik.
I suppose not wanting to be confrontational has something to do with the fact that I am somewhat of a people pleaser, but I think it is just more to do with the fact that I am lazy: "...but I am le tired".
The second reason for not writing much is because I am pregnant with our first baby. Yes, baby X is a' comin', and let me tell you, there was nothing like a round of puking in those first few months to get my creative juices flowing! NOT. On a side note, do people still say "NOT" anymore?
Because of this abandonment of this creative part of myself, I decided to (rather suddenly) deactivate my Facebook account and turn my attention to more creative/constructive pursuits. I am finding that I am very much like a crack cocaine addict when it comes to Facebook. I am having severe withdrawals, and any time that I come across an interesting article or form what I believe to be a profound thought, I have the urge to "share" on Facebook with other people. Then I realize that I can't, and I just kind of have to rely on myself to ruminate on the thought or call my mother, but calling my mother 15 times a day isn't really a viable option (though honestly I doubt she would complain, lovely lady that she is).
I suppose those who desire to write for others are all a bit narcissistic in thinking that the world can't live without our invaluable thoughts, and we must share them with the world. However, more than anything I think what I miss about Facebook in the less than 24 hours I have been off of it is not the inability to share thoughts as much as the chance to engage in some form of socialization and receive validation of one's thoughts through the gaining of "likes": "ah, 25 people like this thought. I really must be onto something!", we conclude.
So, here I am, rambling to myself, as I have only 3 people following this blog (one is actually my husband, and he has to "like" my thoughts because it is in our unwritten marriage contract). So, without the constraint of having a bunch of people weighing in, I intend to write more freely about my ideas/opinions on here, and to write them more regularly.
I hope you enjoyed the ramblings of a recovering Facebook addict!
<3, Anna
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